These days it can sometimes seem near impossible to honor our husbands in the way that they were meant to be honored. These days it can sometimes seem near impossible to honor our husbands in the way that they were meant to be honored. The culture today has young ladies questioning their authority and role as women and wives, only to seek the advice the world has to offer. I can agree that there have been great changes in the past for women's rights but when does it end? Why do we keep pushing for more as if we need to prove we are better then men? Not only is the message of this movement destroying family values, it's pushing men away and turning women into alphas. God made men and women different for a reason.
Women weren't created to do everything a man can do, we were created to do everything a man can't do- Author Unknown.
So how can we honor our husbands in a society that believes women are above men? As a Christian, the answer is simple. We always turn to the Bible for God's wisdom.
Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24 KJB
Before we can interpret this we must first understand what submission means and the common misconceptions. Here is a great three-part video explaining this.
The rest of the verses discuss how husbands should treat their wives and ends with:
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 KJB
According to the scriptures here:
A wife is to REVERENCE her husband. REVERENCE = RESPECT The one and most important thing that a man needs from his wife is RESPECT.
One way we can honor our husbands is by showing them respect. There is a desire in men to want to be honored and admired, especially by their wife. That is what men respond to. It's just the way God created them. When your husband feels that he is not honored or respected by you he will shut down. They may respond to this is by not wanting to be around you. Here's what the bible has to say about that. It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. -Proverbs 21:9 KJB
There are many ways we can show respect to our husbands. If you are having a hard time understanding how to do so I have listed some tips below. Keep in mind that many of these principles can be applied to wives as well. There are also verses in the bible that discuss this but for the sake of this post we're just going to keep it about the husbands.
1. Allow your husband to fail and make mistakes. Some of us expect too much of our husbands and forget sometimes that they too are imperfect. We may tell them what to do, criticize, complain, or belittle them. If there is a problem or circumstance that needs to be addressed, do so in a civilized way. Find a good time to talk about it. Think about what you are trying to communicate and make sure your expectations are realistic. Men are not mind readers so make sure he knows your needs and desires too. Don't focus on all his failures. Forgive just as Christ forgave us. 2. Keep an open line of communication. If there's anything that can destroy any relationship, it's communication and the way that it is exchanged. This is huge! Especially in a marriage. If there's something on your mind approach your husband in a way that is not condescending. Sometimes even our tone of voice and the words we use can come out wrong even when we don't mean for them too. Think about what you're going to say before you say it. If you're upset about something, wait until you cool off to discuss it. If you've tried talking about something but always end up arguing, try writing him a letter instead. If you're still having concerns maybe it's time to seek guidance from within your church. Set up a time to talk to a trusted friend or member of your church that can give you biblical advice.
3. Get his input and involve him. After all, God did create us as the helpers for our men. I'm not saying that you need to ask your husband for every little decision you make. What I am saying is that if you're about to make a huge decision, you may want to discuss it with your husband and get his advice first. Even if you think your husband may not care, it's better to involve him anyway. This lets him know that you value his opinions and leadership. 4. Honor his requests. When your husband is asking you for something you should honor it. As long as he is not asking you to commit a sin what is the harm in doing what he asks? You may not want to do something and that is okay. Communicate with him in a polite way. He may honor your request. However, when you do what he asks it shows that you care and that you made an effort to fulfill his need. Sometimes just the little things make a huge difference. 5. Don't compare him. Comparing your man to other men is humiliating and can also cause internal harm. Whether you're verbally expressing this to him or you're just thinking bout it, either sense could potentially cause harm. Not only can this destroy his self-esteem, it also creates a negative impact on how you see him. If you are constantly comparing him to others, he will never live up to your expectations which can leave you feeling disappointed and aggravated. Don't force him to be someone he's not. Remind yourself about all the wonderful things he does. 6. Thank him. Let him know how much you appreciate what he does for you and the family. This is huge. Men love to feel needed and appreciated, just like us women do. Tell him thank you. Make his favorite meal. Offer him a massage. Do something nice for him out of the ordinary.
7. Encourage him. Not only should you praise and encourage him, say nice things about him to others. Men like to be praised. Especially by their wife and children. When he is admired by you, it will only cause him to draw closer to you. When you encourage him you allow him to thrive.
8. Take an interest in his work. There is just something about men and their careers that really makes them feel worthy. Men take much pride in their work. Ask your husband about his job. Listen to his goals. Get to know his work life. 9. Defend him. Never allow others to talk badly about your husband and stay away from people who do. Everyone has an opinion and if you know someone who is consistently talking about your husband then it is vital that you confront them about it or just stay away from them. Which leads me to another point. Don't talk about your husband negatively to others. This opens the flood gates for other opinions. This is your marriage, not theirs. Unless they are giving you biblical advice.
10. Pray for Him. I believe this is the most important thing you can do for your husband. Especially as a believer in Christ. Pray for his relationship with Christ. Pray for protection against physical, mental, and spiritual attacks. Pray for his career and any other things he may need prayer for. The enemy will use every opportunity to destroy a marriage.
Learn to honor and praise your husband.
Believe me, sometimes this can be difficult. No marriage is you're perfect. There's definitely work that must be put in by both sides. The only way this works is that you're both willing to submit and esteem each other better then yourselves. Don't give the enemy any opportunity to infiltrate your marriage!
Thanks for reading and May God Bless your marriage!
