When you think of this mysterious woman what comes to mind?
WISDOM BEAUTY GRACE KINDNESS HUMILITY
You may have heard of her through church, friends or even mentioned of on a Christian podcast. She is spoken of in a way that makes her admirable; making her the ideal Christian wife or woman.
But who is she?
To explain this, we must first understand the book of the Bible where she is found.
THE BOOK OF PROVERBS
The Book of Proverbs is a book in the Bible given to us for wisdom. The verses within its text teach us biblical qualities that we can use in everyday life. These qualities help guide us into making the right decisions and can help us identify right from wrong. Proverbs is full of wonderful advice regarding the Christian lifestyle and can encourage its readers. Proverbs 31 is full of advice coming from a mother to her son King Lemuel regarding the qualities he should look for in a woman. She calls this special lady the Virtuous woman. This was not about any specific woman in his life. Just a loving mother passing down wisdom to her son. Below we will look at the scriptures to gain more understanding of this fictional woman that has captured the hearts of so many Christian readers around the world.
The words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him
- Proverbs 31:1
The Virtuous Woman
from Proverbs 31
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
- Proverbs 31:10
SHE IS PRICELESS
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
- Proverbs 31:11- 12
SHE IS TRUSTWORTHY
She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; She bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, And giveth meat to her household, And a portion to her maidens.
- Proverbs 31:13-15
SHE MANAGES HER HOUSEHOLD
She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.
- Proverbs 31:16
SHE INVESTS WISELY
She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.
-Proverbs 31:17-19
SHE IS A HARDWORKER
She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
- Proverbs 31:20
SHE IS GENEROUS
She is not afraid of snow for her household, For her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; And delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
- Proverbs 31:21-24
SHE TAKES CARE OF HER FAMILY
Strength and honour are her clothing; And she shall rejoice in time to come.
-Proverbs 31:25
SHE IS ADMIRABLE
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And in her tongue is the law of kindness.
- Proverbs 31:26
SHE IS KIND
She looketh well to the ways of her household, And eateth not the bread of idleness.
- Proverbs 31: 27
SHE STAYS BUSY
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, he praiseth her.
- Proverbs 31:28
SHE IS RESPECTED
Many daughters have done virtuously, But thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
- Proverbs 31:29-30
SHE IS GOD FEARING
Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.
- Proverbs 31:31
As we have seen above, this woman has many wonderful qualities. And that's not all. There are many other verses in Proverbs and all throughout the Bible that describes her. She is obviously a fictional character, but her behaviors are to be admired. There are many other examples of how Godly woman behave all throughout scripture and many of those have been labeled under the virtuous woman.
Let's dig a little deeper to see further characteristics of the virtuous woman spoken of throughout the bible.
She is meek and quiet
Not clamorous
A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple and knoweth nothing
- Proverbs 9:13
Clamorous means to be loud or demanding.
Who's adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
- 1 Peter 3:3
She is kind, forgiving and discreet.
Not angry, bitter or contentious.
Contentious means to be argumentative.
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
- Proverbs 21:9
It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.
- Proverbs 21:19
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
-Proverbs 25:24
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
- Proverbs 31
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
- Ephesians 4:31-32
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God not be blasphemed.
- Titus 2:5
God has made it very clear that it is better for a man to stay away from a woman who is argumentative or angry. She should be kind and forgiving.
She is hardworking and manages her home well.
Not idle.
To be idle is to be doing nothing productive. In other words it means being lazy.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
- Proverbs 31:27
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
- Proverbs 31:13-18
This verse is referring to the woman working all day, managing the home, feeding and making clothes for her family. Obviously, she is a very hard worker but this doesn't mean we need to go back to making our own clothes. Being productive in today's world is going to be a little different than it was back then.
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger woman marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside to Satan.
- 1 Timothy 5:13
Being idle for either a man or woman accomplishes nothing and brings poverty. In fact, God instructs us to look at the way an ant lives. They are busy, always working and gathering food for their hive. They do not need someone to follow them around to make sure they are staying busy.
Go the ant thou sluggard; consider her ways and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathered her food in the harvest.
-Proverbs 6:6-8
Staying busy or working hard are qualities that God wants both man and woman to have. He wants us to have a good reputation as his children, just like a company wants to be known as providing excellent services. The workers represent the company brand. If the workers are lazy and do not do a good job, they will lose customers. As Christians, we want to be known as hardworking people that always show up. We are to work as if we were working for the Lord himself. This brings glory and honor to God.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
- Colossians 3:23
She teaches and trains her children to know the Lord.
Leading her children in love
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and thou shalt talk of them when thou sitteset in thine house, and when you walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up.
- Deuteronomy 6:6-7
Some people may feel like it is the church's duty to teach our children about God, but this would be the furthest from the truth. The church certainly has a role but teaching starts in each of our own homes. The scripture doesn't say " Just once or twice a week at church service. It is written specifically that we teach our children many times throughout each day. This may not be one of the ten commandments, but it was certainly one of the many others that God commanded. Teaching our children requires faith and trust in God's plan.
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
- Proverbs 22:6
She submits to her husband.
Not contentious to him.
As mentioned above, she is to be kind, forgiving and discreet.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet.
- Genesis 2:18
For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
- 1 Corinthians 11:7-9
Believe it or not, we were created to be the partner and helper of one man. This does not mean that the man is more important, it just means that we were made for him. Men should also submit to their wives but for the purpose of this post we will not discuss this here. There are many other scriptures on this topic with the first one taking place in Genesis 3 when the Lord told Eve that her husband would rule over her. To understand more about submission there is a great video explaining this here.
She dresses in modest apparel.
Not intentionally drawing attention to herself.
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamedfacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But ( which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
- 1 Timothy 2:9
You can read more about this in Modesty is Beautiful.
She is Trustworthy.
Not a busybody
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger woman marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside to Satan.
- 1 Timothy 5:13
He that goest about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: Therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
-Proverbs 20:19
A busybody is someone who is always worried about everyone else's business and stays busy with all the wrong things. In other words, a troublemaker or a gossiper. Keeping a secret is important when it comes to relationships and can be hurtful when exposed. The above scripture tells us not to associate ourselves with people that gossip or slander other people.
She is God Fearing.
Loves and respects the Lord
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: But fools despise wisdom and instruction.
-Proverbs 1:7
Many daughters have done virtuously, But thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
- Proverbs 31:29-30
This is by far the most important characteristic that any Christian should have. To fear the Lord means to respect God and His teachings. Honoring His Word and taking it seriously. We understand that there are blessings in life and there are consequences for disobedience. As Christians, we should live our life in such a way that brings glory and honor to God.
By now you should have a better understanding of the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman. Some of these may seem a little extreme and may make you feel like you're not doing enough in your own home. Especially when she talks about her making her own clothes and pretty much working nonstop. Most moms can agree with the latter half. We all constantly serve our families the best way we know how. These words were written thousands of years ago, in a time much different than ours. However, we can still apply many of the principles today. This post is in no way meant to make you feel like you are inadequate. It is just simply to inspire you and encourage you to become more like the virtuous women.
